The following entries (from beginning runner to half marathon finisher) represents a continuing journey of tremendous grief and sorrow, and of transformation - largely through the therapeutic power of running. The sorrow that has broken my heart open wide has in time allowed me to experience the beauty of being in the present moment. And of course, without the support of family and friends to guide me, I would not have made it this far.

If you have lost someone in your life, I offer these words and verse (some Kristy's, some mine and others) with the hope it may touch your heart and help you heal.
mailto:clarksonart@gmail.com


Monday, December 8, 2008

7 WEEKS TO GO


Today's run was 5 miles. Straight up to the top of the hill and back down. It's a long haul - what my sister would call a "character building workout". I wanted to stop so bad, my calves were throbbing due to the steep incline. Ouch. I made it up and back in just under 1 hour with no stops! Yay!

It was cold and windy outside so I wore your gloves and scarf. I have been told it is not good to increase more than one of the big three at a time - duration, intensity or frequency. So I opted for intensity in the form of a Deadly Hill Monster. (Better known as DHM).

On the way back down the hill I passed the three trees intertwined as if a loosely braid piece of hair. Then there was the bee's nest. I remember walking by it one day with you and we shared stories. Some days the bees were rather angry and one had to run swiftly by in order not to get stung. Then there were always the Poison Oak stories. Okay, let's not even get into that!

Today while I was running I remembered a day this summer when I was beginning my walks at the lake. (Hard to believe I used to only be able to walk the lake!!) Something truly miraculous happened that day which I shall never forget.

I passed a woman I had seen 3-4 times before. She was old and frail with grey shoulder length hair. She was wearing 2 different styles of tennis shoes - huge ones - both with the toes cut out. She was shuffling up the hill with a transistor radio slung around her neck, blaring music. She wore a dark almost knee length trench coat with a canvas camping style hat.

I always say hello and smile at her when I pass by. Normally she has on large round sun glasses. As I passed her I looked back to greet her. Guess what! She did not have on her glasses and when she looked at me she gave me a wide grin - she flashed it really. I was stunned! At that very instant I saw your eyes and your smile! It hit me so hard I gasped for air and fought back the tears instantly. In a moment - like a blinding twinkle of light - she was looking down again and you were gone. But it was so you. Right there. From inside her eyes. Inhabiting her spirit. And it has never happened again.

I think of these things while I run. Today I solved so many problems and wrote so many posts to this blog it was incredible. Darn if I can remember them now......

1 comment:

  1. What a great moment, a quick, if transitory bond with another woman on the trail, and a flash of a happy memory of Kristy

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