The following entries (from beginning runner to half marathon finisher) represents a continuing journey of tremendous grief and sorrow, and of transformation - largely through the therapeutic power of running. The sorrow that has broken my heart open wide has in time allowed me to experience the beauty of being in the present moment. And of course, without the support of family and friends to guide me, I would not have made it this far.

If you have lost someone in your life, I offer these words and verse (some Kristy's, some mine and others) with the hope it may touch your heart and help you heal.
mailto:clarksonart@gmail.com


Friday, December 19, 2008

CALL ME ANYTIME

Yesterday I was reminded of our last trip to Healdsburg so you could compete in the Vineman. We spent the night in the same bed at a friend's house before rising at 3:30 am to proceed to the staging area. We had gone the day before so you could swim in the Russian River and gauge the water level.

We took the back roads through the winding vineyards and countryside. It took about a hour, with the fog so heavy it looked like the world was under a thick cotton blanket. When we arrived at the river we were lucky enough to find a parking place right next to the entrance. We were both amazed!

The day before when we were "scoping it out" I sat by the shore with my straw hat on doing a crossword puzzle. I could see your head bobbing up and down in the river for a short time but then you disappeared among the currents. It was sunny and windy. Even then I wanted to shout to everyone, "She's my daughter. Look at her! Isn't she something!"

When we returned to the car a man was there waiting for us to return. Either that or he was writing a note. He said when he had pulled his bike out of the back of his car he had accidentally scratched the top of the hood. He was obviously upset - and I got the impression he may have been upset at me. Anyway, you went ahead an got into the front seat and rolled down the windows. The man gave me his card and said if the scratch didn't just wash off that I should call him anytime, DAY OR NIGHT to work out getting it fixed.

To me it was becoming a little comical because he was so upset and kept repeating the same information. He didn't think the scratch was permanent, and he wanted me to feel free to call him at anytime.... So I finally took the card and said, "Okay, thank you - but I just want you to know that if in the future you should get a call in the middle of the night it's not me!"

I looked in the car to see if you were following this. You were laughing your head off! The guy didn't blink an eye, he was still acting way too serious. Maybe he thought I was serious. We laughed about it all the way back to our friend's house. It was far too beautiful a day to let this ruin our time together.

The best part about it is the scratch did not simply just wash off. It is still very much there. But I now have the pleasure of this memory every time I see it.

Today's workout: 70 minutes cross training