The following entries (from beginning runner to half marathon finisher) represents a continuing journey of tremendous grief and sorrow, and of transformation - largely through the therapeutic power of running. The sorrow that has broken my heart open wide has in time allowed me to experience the beauty of being in the present moment. And of course, without the support of family and friends to guide me, I would not have made it this far.

If you have lost someone in your life, I offer these words and verse (some Kristy's, some mine and others) with the hope it may touch your heart and help you heal.
mailto:clarksonart@gmail.com


Wednesday, December 17, 2008

LOOKING OUTWARD

What is life? It is a firefly in the night
It is a breath of a buffalo in the winter time
It is as the little shadow that runs across
the grass and loses itself in the sunset.
Crowfoot-Blackfeet

My darling Kristy. You were only here briefly but you touched many. The wind still whispers you and I can feel your eyes.

I am traveling to spend Christmas with my sister Kim who lives in New Mexico. While I was on the plane I remembered last May, 11 - Mother's Day. Another "first" without you. Big sister Laurissa came to spend a few days with me and brought with her two Mother's Day cards. You both always remembered Mother's Day and it made me feel so special.

I opened the first card. It was beautiful. A colorful parrot on the wing and on the inside two full pages of writing - like only Laurissa can. She is so articulate! The second card (and I thought it odd she got two) was a black and white photo of 3 dogs looking in the same direction. It had a quote: "Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward in the same direction." On the inside, in handwriting much like yours: Happy Mother's Day. Thanks for always being there....I love you, Kristy.

This made me cry of course. Not only because it was a sentiment you would have articulated but because Laurissa - in her beautiful loving way - gave it to me for you. I am so fortunate to have her in my life. I will treasure her every day I am alive. My two little girls.

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