The following entries (from beginning runner to half marathon finisher) represents a continuing journey of tremendous grief and sorrow, and of transformation - largely through the therapeutic power of running. The sorrow that has broken my heart open wide has in time allowed me to experience the beauty of being in the present moment. And of course, without the support of family and friends to guide me, I would not have made it this far.

If you have lost someone in your life, I offer these words and verse (some Kristy's, some mine and others) with the hope it may touch your heart and help you heal.

Friday, July 9, 2010


Each day before rising
still and loose in my sheets
gently floating in my
moment of freedom

I remember the game
where a dark tunnel loomed
and we held our breath
straining to reach
a childish beacon

The intrusion of light
does not change my path
plodding ever forward
falling ever backward
my breath a volcano

But Hiroshima explodes
and the Nile rises
their strained duet
blinding and hot
demanding their revenge

Finally my eyes open
a hand is before me
my morning coffee
the reaper's bone
or the farmer's plow

Thursday, July 1, 2010


A few days ago Kristy's sister Laurissa came into town and we laid Kristys's ashes in the cemetery.  We decorated the space with flowers from the back yard.  Next to her ceremonial is the plaque we had made with a photo and the words from one of her poems. Laurissa and I were surprised at how cold it was as we sat holding each other.... We spent the next 5 days together, making it a total of seven.  Later Laurissa wrote this beautiful poem:

Written by Laurissa

seven psychic days
of mother and daughter
holding sister
and daughter
this walk
without her
flesh and blood
smile, hands
and eyes
shout of the limb
torn away
and then
there is
don't know if I will ever
have daughters to gather
to my body
but my sister is gone
I will be alone
that is the dark fear
but never alone
illuminates truth
I tend to my plants all my days
though it is not I or me
nor mine
whisper the soft green breezes:
be gentle with your love