The following entries (from beginning runner to half marathon finisher) represents a continuing journey of tremendous grief and sorrow, and of transformation - largely through the therapeutic power of running. The sorrow that has broken my heart open wide has in time allowed me to experience the beauty of being in the present moment. And of course, without the support of family and friends to guide me, I would not have made it this far.

If you have lost someone in your life, I offer these words and verse (some Kristy's, some mine and others) with the hope it may touch your heart and help you heal.
mailto:clarksonart@gmail.com


Wednesday, December 3, 2008

DAY TWO

And already I have decided to change to the advanced training schedule. Not because I feel I am an advanced runner but because I have already been running more miles than what is called for. So today I ran an "Easy" 5 miles. According to my trusty Polar watch I ran it in 56 minutes. I know it was exactly 5 miles because the paved trail at the lake where I train is marked. I made sure to stay within the prescribed mileage and train at an easy pace. But I think I have always run at an easy pace as I have not done any tempo training and varied the intensity. Aside from hill training which I always do. Really gets the heart beat up there. So today just confirmed what I already know. I am a slower runner with a run time of about 11 minutes per mile. That's what this training will hopefully do - help me to improve.

It was 50 degrees when I started. Today I listened to new music which I down loaded to my Sansa Mp3 player. It is a full 6 hours of electronic disco fusion music! It has a slower tempo than what I am used to and I really liked it. Kristy would borrow my Mp3 player occasionally but said she seldom would listen to fast music. I can see why. The slower beat and background synthetic music is just right. You can get into the run tempo and kinda zone. This is the time I have my best thoughts. It's almost as if you don't even have a body because it is so occupied running you don't even think about it. Making your body run on automatic control has a certain liberating function. I'm sure this is one reason so many people like it.

I'm getting a bit nervous about the fundraising aspect of this race. I sent out an email to my friends and family as well as Kristy's friends (which have now become my friends). I have met with limited response and I'm not sure if I should send another email. I know it is a difficult time to donate. Things are really tight. Hmmmm. What to do?

I should clarify something I said earlier. I don't really want to "be" Kristy. What I want is to feel her inside me. I want to always keep her presence alive. I never want to forget what it was like having her in my life. She was such a talented, generous, loving person. She was so smart and witty. I always felt special when she was around. I miss her every minute of the day.

Today's workout: 5 miles at an easy pace

1 comment:

  1. So how about a photo of where you run and perhaps one of you running it? I'd like to visualize what you're doing. I had to quit running recently due to knee surgery, so its a bit of a vicarious thing to see the trail.

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