The following entries (from beginning runner to half marathon finisher) represents a continuing journey of tremendous grief and sorrow, and of transformation - largely through the therapeutic power of running. The sorrow that has broken my heart open wide has in time allowed me to experience the beauty of being in the present moment. And of course, without the support of family and friends to guide me, I would not have made it this far.
Friday, November 20, 2009
A year ago I wrote to a Pueblo Shaman about you.
I asked the Shaman
why you died
He said you went
so another could enter
my life, my love
I am waiting with tears
with outstretched hands
I open my heart
expanding the circle
Ever present and changing
Just how many are needed?
When is the circle full?
It is ever turning,
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Another cold morning and you sit on my throat
you see my breath as I hide in my coat
Last night's dreams are like lint in my pocket
Soft and ghostly as the image in my locket
Dreary days gray and blue slip between sighs
soon another birthday comes and another milestone dies
In my dream you smiled your love as wide as the sky
I sheltered you in my arms while asking you, "Why?"
In your eyes, in your eyes, the sweetness of youth
tempered only by cries of persistence and truth
Though today I am cold in my pocket I find
love conquering death in my heart and my mind