Today, as I think back upon the last 14 years, I am remembering the journey. There was a point in time when I welcomed Grief as it had become a known entity. It was like holding my breath under water and knowing I would have to surface at some point. But the point of extreme Grief can often become an obliteration. A hurt so deep it removes all else; so crippling your mind has to stop and fall to its knees. Eventually you have to stand back up and say enough is enough. It takes a mighty severing of the cord which is not without painful withdrawal. A withdrawal from Grief. How absurd.
After Grief comes Resignation. A type of cold-war agreement. I will behave if you will behave. It’s not a surrender but more like an agreement between two powerful nation-states. I have been careful to keep this agreement. I will no longer surrender to Grief. I now depend on the ceremonial practice of remembering, which always ends in Gratitude.
Gratitude is a good place to be.
