The following entries (from beginning runner to half marathon finisher) represents a continuing journey of tremendous grief and sorrow, and of transformation - largely through the therapeutic power of running. The sorrow that has broken my heart open wide has in time allowed me to experience the beauty of being in the present moment. And of course, without the support of family and friends to guide me, I would not have made it this far.

If you have lost someone in your life, I offer these words and verse (some Kristy's, some mine and others) with the hope it may touch your heart and help you heal.
mailto:clarksonart@gmail.com


Saturday, January 10, 2009

THE PROTECTIVE EYE

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Looking out my window this morning I see the Protective Eye. The blue and white glass eye Kristy brought home from a trip to Turkey. Before she left she asked me if she could bring back anything for me. I told her about the Turkish custom of the "Protective Eye". When I was a small girl my parents brought one back from their journey into Turkey. I was always fascinated by it. One sad year it was lost when my mother's house was burglarized.

When Kristy returned she brought with her four different Protective Eyes! She said it was such a big thing there, they sold so many variations of it in the market she couldn't resist buying as many as possible. The others were on necklaces. The largest one has been hanging outside in our garden among purple and yellow flowers ever since. The blue light that shines from it when the sun hits it in the morning is magical.

Kristy told me it was sad to have to pretend she was not an American while she was in Turkey. At the time it was really not safe to travel but she and her boyfriend Clas had a special place to stay. When they went out into the villages she would try not to speak and most thought she was Swedish (like Clas). This was much safer for them. All the traveling she did gave her a unique perspective on the world. She was much more informed than most and much more compassionate. She was always thankful for what she had.

Today I get to look at the sun shinning through the Protective Eye. I can't say it protected Kristy. But then how can I know for sure. I'm not sure what to think, really. It does seem comforting to look at an object so beautiful and remember the joy she gave me. That sparkle in her eyes, that flash of wit. We spent many hours in the garden together. All I know for certain is that any little spark of beauty is appreciated and I will never take it down.

Today's workout: 7 miles on treadmill at the gym. The tempo runs are working! Today my 7 miles were 2 minutes faster than the last 7 miles on Tuesday.

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