The following entries (from beginning runner to half marathon finisher) represents a continuing journey of tremendous grief and sorrow, and of transformation - largely through the therapeutic power of running. The sorrow that has broken my heart open wide has in time allowed me to experience the beauty of being in the present moment. And of course, without the support of family and friends to guide me, I would not have made it this far.
Friday, June 5, 2009
A SERIES OF BEATS
Clas and Kristy celebrate
Time is no longer succession
and becomes what it originally was and is:
in which past and future are reconciled.
The one consolation to grief is it's tie to the future and the present. Facing current and future loss helps me to view them as the same. They are but one part of the same face. If I can get through today then I can get through tomorrow. If I can at some point accept today then I can at some point accept tomorrow. If I see my heart as a series of beats and not as a lifeless organ I drag around with me - I can project the possibility of change. If I think about laying down my pain in the future it gives me hope.