The following entries (from beginning runner to half marathon finisher) represents a continuing journey of tremendous grief and sorrow, and of transformation - largely through the therapeutic power of running. The sorrow that has broken my heart open wide has in time allowed me to experience the beauty of being in the present moment. And of course, without the support of family and friends to guide me, I would not have made it this far.

If you have lost someone in your life, I offer these words and verse (some Kristy's, some mine and others) with the hope it may touch your heart and help you heal.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009


Yet my slings are whirling.
I am here,
I scream,
My strength and my pain,
in the night.
I want it.
My strength is my pain,
in the night.
I want it.
I must open this door.
And go through it.
I must defeat it.
My stones must reach their target.
I scream.

--Pablo Neruda

Was he speaking about grief and sorrow?  The sorrow that feeds upon itself and rewards the weary heart with renewed determination, like a sadistic cannibal licking it's lips.  A sorrow oozing desperate desire.  The scar that never heals as it is tended and cared for only to break open each night. Each new stone seeks its mark.  

Like a raging river, 
like an endless fountain, 
like an echo singing it's loss 
over and over.  

What is on the other side?  
I dream the journey each night
but my desire shows no pity.

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