The following entries (from beginning runner to half marathon finisher) represents a continuing journey of tremendous grief and sorrow, and of transformation - largely through the therapeutic power of running. The sorrow that has broken my heart open wide has in time allowed me to experience the beauty of being in the present moment. And of course, without the support of family and friends to guide me, I would not have made it this far.

If you have lost someone in your life, I offer these words and verse (some Kristy's, some mine and others) with the hope it may touch your heart and help you heal.

Saturday, February 7, 2009


The fear of death follows from the fear of life.
A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.

- Mark Twain -

"As a female firefighter/paramedic and as a cyclist turned triathlete, I can relate to Kristy's strength and passion. My worst fears, as a cyclist and as a paramedic, happened to your daughter.

Every time I ride that winding road, I'll remember. But her spirit must live on, and she can be a motivation to other strong females out there who have a passion for athletics.

I did not know her or Matt Peterson, but I raced for Roaring Mouse Cycles as it's only female roady during it's first season, and I am friends with the owners of the bike shop. Be strong. Be safe. And I don't ever want to see you in my ambulance, unless you're visiting me at the fire station." - Dori

People who knew Kristy were aware that she was the only woman on an all male bicycling team. She was arguably one of their strongest riders. Kristy reveled in being treated like one of the guys. Small, petite and a beauty of a woman - she never called attention to herself except when she was quietly passing everyone on the course. Her spirit was infectious - she raced by putting everything she had on the line. She made no apologies for her abilities but at the same time she made no excuses for her "short comings".

In my experience as her friend and mother, Kristy's biggest weakness was her reticence to let people help her. Even if she was really hurting she would not ask for, let alone accept, any help. Eventually, I am certain she would have learned some of the most transforming experiences in life happen when you let someone help you. In doing so you have allowed another the ability to give of themselves. When you take from an outstretched hand you have to open your own. The one who accepts the gift gains in the transaction, sometimes even more than the giver.

Kristy and I had so much to learn from each other. As I write these words and read what others have said about Kristy I am continually humbled; the more I learn about this strong, independent woman, the more I learn about myself.

Today's workout: 5 miles on the treadmill. Running is harder to do on a treadmill. I look forward to getting back to the lake when the rain has passed through.

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