The following entries (from beginning runner to half marathon finisher) represents a continuing journey of tremendous grief and sorrow, and of transformation - largely through the therapeutic power of running. The sorrow that has broken my heart open wide has in time allowed me to experience the beauty of being in the present moment. And of course, without the support of family and friends to guide me, I would not have made it this far.

If you have lost someone in your life, I offer these words and verse (some Kristy's, some mine and others) with the hope it may touch your heart and help you heal.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009


When I got back from the store yesterday I wrote this for you. There's something about going to the store now that is very difficult. We used to pick up things for each other all the time. It became a habit to call you and ask if you needed anything, or to see if you were waiting for me at the house. Now, when I get in the car a feeling of sadness descends upon me. I think I would rather be at home.

There comes a certain hour
when I start looking for you.
You used to appear each day
I would call and you would answer:
"I was just passing by, I'll be right there."

We had this routine worked out
it seemed to me so natural.
Each day at the same hour
a small voice would speak to me:
"She's just passing by, she'll be right here."

I can't hold you in my arms now
or tell you of my sorrow.
But I hope you hear, my love
a voice is whispering in your ear.
"I'm just passing by, I'll be right there."


  1. My heart aches for you on days like this. The pain and loss is so so deep. However, keep painting, running, writing, crying, coping, because you must, for you and Kristy's sakes. Peace.

  2. This is so beautiful, thanks for sharing it. I've never met you in person but I can see you and Kristy on the phone chatting, and dropping by.
    I don't know what else to write. I know others dealing with their losses will find comfort and hope in your poems and thoughts.

  3. I'm glad you read this - it so fully captures what I was feeling at the moment. I still wait to hear from her each day.... Hearing from you gives me strenth though. Thank you