Running for Kristy: MY RED SWEATER

The following entries (from beginning runner to half marathon finisher) represents a continuing journey of tremendous grief and sorrow, and of transformation - largely through the therapeutic power of running. The sorrow that has broken my heart open wide has in time allowed me to experience the beauty of being in the present moment. And of course, without the support of family and friends to guide me, I would not have made it this far.

If you have lost someone in your life, I offer these words and verse (some Kristy's, some mine and others) with the hope it may touch your heart and help you heal.
mailto:clarksonart@gmail.com

Sunday, September 20, 2009

MY RED SWEATER

Me - in one of my many sweaters.

Hi Kristy - it's Jack again. I was thinking about you again while I was lying on the couch with my human. She misses you too. Sometimes I know she is sad and I think that is why she cries so much. I just try to look cuddly so she will hug me and that seems to make her feel better.

Anyway I was thinking about the red sweater you gave me. I still have it! It is one of my favorites. It used to belong to your stuffed moose and then you gave it to me. It used to belong to another dog for a short time - Sonya. You told me all about Sonya but I never did meet her. Thank you for telling me stories about her.

You were one of the few people who treated me like an equal. Even though I was on the street and ended up in a shelter you took pity on me. I will never be able to thank you enough. You changed my life! If I could smile I would, because you make me feel good.

Well gotta go. There are cats walking around the house and well - you know.

Jack

1 comment:

AnonymousSeptember 20, 2009 at 10:52 AM
This makes me laugh - and I like to laugh!
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Through Her Eyes

By Kristy's mom

letting her go is such an act of finality
this finality is so acute
it brings all other relationships into focus
the cushion between you and your mortality is gone
grieving this loss is grieving the loss of your own life
and coming to terms with its presence
it becomes an idea that cannot be ignored
she is now and forever living in you
in your eyes and your heart
she is there
and you can tell when you are seeing things
through her eyes
when the feeling of her spirit touches you
in these moments you are overcome
with all the fullness of her presence
as if all your memories of her
were compressed into one, tiny pinhole
a shining light of pure energy
and it is love
it is now your part to take this love
and distribute it by planting her seed
so that she may live again

Kristy's indomitable spirit was both admirable and infectious. I feel blessed and fortunate to have met her and train with her. My favorite memories of Kristy were riding abreast on the long Sunday trainingrides, boy she could REALLY put the hurt on!!!…

It was very special to have her pat me on the back while I was suffering on the rollers in the cycling gym. She had an extraordinary ability to push the limits on the bike without showing it!!! I have mixed feelings about the fact that I was the last one to be with her before being taken away by the ambulance, but I want everyone to know that even with her broken body, she never stopped fighting. Kristy was a special human being and will remain in my thoughts and prayers for the rest of my days on this earth.

-Daniel Brasse, Third Pillar