Running for Kristy: THE DANGLING ROOT

The following entries (from beginning runner to half marathon finisher) represents a continuing journey of tremendous grief and sorrow, and of transformation - largely through the therapeutic power of running. The sorrow that has broken my heart open wide has in time allowed me to experience the beauty of being in the present moment. And of course, without the support of family and friends to guide me, I would not have made it this far.

If you have lost someone in your life, I offer these words and verse (some Kristy's, some mine and others) with the hope it may touch your heart and help you heal.
mailto:clarksonart@gmail.com

Friday, September 4, 2009

THE DANGLING ROOT

small snapshots of time and loss

today I was able to laugh at a joke

I am now able to do many things

yesterday I dreamed my daughter

and she was again alive

I am inching back into a routine

climbing steps that do not lead to you

I am someone else now I realize

there is so much I need to learn

about this new person

I am not exactly a ghost

but part feeling and part asleep

part dead and part alive

the dangling root of a former life

dragging along crumbs of the past

1 comment:

AnonymousSeptember 4, 2009 at 12:26 PM
I like this poem, Karen. Not because of you referring to yourself as a 'dangling root"; but the fact that you are slowly healing. I love you more than you could ever know. Your sister.
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Through Her Eyes

By Kristy's mom

letting her go is such an act of finality
this finality is so acute
it brings all other relationships into focus
the cushion between you and your mortality is gone
grieving this loss is grieving the loss of your own life
and coming to terms with its presence
it becomes an idea that cannot be ignored
she is now and forever living in you
in your eyes and your heart
she is there
and you can tell when you are seeing things
through her eyes
when the feeling of her spirit touches you
in these moments you are overcome
with all the fullness of her presence
as if all your memories of her
were compressed into one, tiny pinhole
a shining light of pure energy
and it is love
it is now your part to take this love
and distribute it by planting her seed
so that she may live again

Kristy's indomitable spirit was both admirable and infectious. I feel blessed and fortunate to have met her and train with her. My favorite memories of Kristy were riding abreast on the long Sunday trainingrides, boy she could REALLY put the hurt on!!!…

It was very special to have her pat me on the back while I was suffering on the rollers in the cycling gym. She had an extraordinary ability to push the limits on the bike without showing it!!! I have mixed feelings about the fact that I was the last one to be with her before being taken away by the ambulance, but I want everyone to know that even with her broken body, she never stopped fighting. Kristy was a special human being and will remain in my thoughts and prayers for the rest of my days on this earth.

-Daniel Brasse, Third Pillar