The following entries (from beginning runner to half marathon finisher) represents a continuing journey of tremendous grief and sorrow, and of transformation - largely through the therapeutic power of running. The sorrow that has broken my heart open wide has in time allowed me to experience the beauty of being in the present moment. And of course, without the support of family and friends to guide me, I would not have made it this far.
Friday, April 10, 2009
A GOOD LONG TIME
Kristy and Jack
I was watching the dogs play outside a few minutes ago. I suddenly remembered Kristy asking me shortly before she died, "How long do you think Jack will live?" I can remember it as if it was yesterday. It was a beautiful day and we were enjoying the sun in the back yard.
For those of you who don't know, Jack is our rescue dog. Kristy had only recently lost her childhood pet, a little terrier named Sonya. When Sonya died at the ripe old age of 18, Kristy was overcome with grief. For years she doted over her and tended to her every need.
Having lost so much, Kristy instinctively thought of the inevitable when letting her heart go out to our new dog, Jack. I reassured her by responding, "I think he will live a good long time, just like Sonya." She was hugging Jack at that moment and she never looked up. Without missing a beat she said,"Good."
Love it seems is never so precious as when it has been lost. I will never be able to replace Kristy. I think I will spend the rest of my life looking for something to ease the loss. I am sure it will take a good long time.
Strange that all future love will forever be altered by Kristy's existence. I will be reminded of my love for her each time I try to love again.
Labels: memory of Kristy