The following entries (from beginning runner to half marathon finisher) represents a continuing journey of tremendous grief and sorrow, and of transformation - largely through the therapeutic power of running. The sorrow that has broken my heart open wide has in time allowed me to experience the beauty of being in the present moment. And of course, without the support of family and friends to guide me, I would not have made it this far.

If you have lost someone in your life, I offer these words and verse (some Kristy's, some mine and others) with the hope it may touch your heart and help you heal.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010


Yesterday I cleaned your room.  Seems like just the other day we sat on your bed talking.  Traces of you still remain.  An ear plug, a barrette, a smudge on the wall.  But my heart smiled when I moved your dresser and saw one lone marsh mellow gathering dust.

Instantly you were standing over the stove roasting your booty.  You craved marsh mellows and I tried to make sure I had a generous supply at all times. That impish grin was on your face.  Your treasure was golden brown and oozing around your fingers as you popped it in your mouth.  Somehow this lone marsh mellow escaped....and you would have been the last to touch it.

Envious, I picked it up and felt it's softness.


  1. I am sorry, my dearest sister, that you are struggling. But I ask myself "Why not"? we are days away from another annual mile marker for the loss of our Kristy. I love you so deeply and only wished that I could take this pain away.

  2. I'm going to eat some candy and marsh-mellows this weekend.

    I'm going to Candy Mountain!!! Yee-HAAA!

  3. You are now a much stronger person. Kristy will always be with you. Especially when you least expect her.
    I makes one wonder about years gone by.Those travellers who left home to go to far away lands to look for work or to fight.No phone, fax,internet-only mail if you could read and write. It must have been so hard just wondering about the loved one.Are they alive or dead,happy or sad coming back or not?
    You can now appreciate them now. They were strong persons as are you now. Peace.

  4. I had not thought of it this way. But it is true I think that knowing is always better than not knowing. If Kristy was gone and I did not know what happened to her it would be a different type of grief.

  5. i ate most of candy mountain yesterday. i ate the rest of it for breakfast today.

    i have no will power when it comes to candy mountain