The following entries (from beginning runner to half marathon finisher) represents a continuing journey of tremendous grief and sorrow, and of transformation - largely through the therapeutic power of running. The sorrow that has broken my heart open wide has in time allowed me to experience the beauty of being in the present moment. And of course, without the support of family and friends to guide me, I would not have made it this far.

If you have lost someone in your life, I offer these words and verse (some Kristy's, some mine and others) with the hope it may touch your heart and help you heal.
mailto:clarksonart@gmail.com


Saturday, November 19, 2022

Reflections on your 45th Birthday

 


Today, on your 45th birthday, I am reminded of what you wrote in 2003:

“I do not expect to be made happy at every turn. Neither do I expect to be made sad. I welcome both. I do not expect my heart to plod along safely, not do I want it to. My only expectation is that I feel deeply. Pain, pleasure, grief, euphoria, loneliness, fulfillment and onward. I would be silly, and and ungrateful to resent the fact that we did not last longer."

“My life is passing quickly. I want to feel grief, elation, sorrow, happiness, pain, pleasure and uncontrolled euphoria.  I don’t care anymore about keeping my heart safe.”

These feelings describe you completely. Not a person to shirk in the shadows, you embraced life with both hands.  You died fighting for your life after being hit by a car while riding your bike at the front of the pack. I think of your passion and conviction every day, especially today. 

Kristy, life is so short and precious. Ride into the wind and don’t look back my love. 

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