DEATH SAID

Yesterday I was listening to NPR as I painted. A woman named Kathleen Sheeder Bonanno was talking about a book of poems she had written called "Slamming Open the Door". These are poems written about the death of her daughter who was murdered six years ago.

As I listened to her poems I immediately identified with her descriptions of death, loss and grief. At a break they played a song which was played at her daughter's memorial. It was her daughter's favorite. I somehow knew when they said it was by Coldplay that it would be the same song we played at Kristy's memorial. It was the song Yellow.

The poems she read were brutally honest. They took me back to those first days when death is palpable - a living, breathing entity. I was inspired to sit down and write about how I felt. It has now been over a year since Kristy's death and I have learned to control my grief so I can function. Nevertheless I felt I needed to write something that bears more of my soul and my struggle to survive.

Today I sat down and wrote 6 poems. I did not stop to search for the right word. They were right there on the tip of my tongue. This was the first:

DEATH SAID

He was not wanted nor was he invited

You must bow to me now he said

I will never leave you alone

I will always be with you

And with that

the world changed

There was no discussion

There was no argument

At first a tightening grip

You think it hurts now?

It has only just begun

I am on your right hand

I am in your left ear

I have taken over your heart

I will live within your eyes

I will be your next breath

You are mine and I am yours

When you weep I am your tears

When you scream I am your voice

When you sleep I am your dream

And when you wake I am your love

I have taken that which you cherished

I own that part of you

You can look the other way

But I know no boundaries

There is no end to my desire