Running for Kristy: October 2009

The following entries (from beginning runner to half marathon finisher) represents a continuing journey of tremendous grief and sorrow, and of transformation - largely through the therapeutic power of running. The sorrow that has broken my heart open wide has in time allowed me to experience the beauty of being in the present moment. And of course, without the support of family and friends to guide me, I would not have made it this far.

If you have lost someone in your life, I offer these words and verse (some Kristy's, some mine and others) with the hope it may touch your heart and help you heal.
mailto:clarksonart@gmail.com

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

TWO PARTS

On my last trip to New Mexico the sun split the rain

clouds and a rainbow formed.

While I was running this morning these thoughts came to me. My love for you is like two parts of one puzzle. If I had not loved I could not have felt your loss so cruelly. If I had not mourned I could not have recognized your love so completely. I am sharing this journey with you.

For you

my heart did sing.

For you

my heart did die.

For you

my heart will live.

For you

my heart cries why.

Thank you

Friday, October 16, 2009

LITANY

Love is stronger than death she said

as I reached to find her near

a breath, a look, a yearning smile

are but mirrors from the dead

Through Her Eyes

By Kristy's mom

letting her go is such an act of finality
this finality is so acute
it brings all other relationships into focus
the cushion between you and your mortality is gone
grieving this loss is grieving the loss of your own life
and coming to terms with its presence
it becomes an idea that cannot be ignored
she is now and forever living in you
in your eyes and your heart
she is there
and you can tell when you are seeing things
through her eyes
when the feeling of her spirit touches you
in these moments you are overcome
with all the fullness of her presence
as if all your memories of her
were compressed into one, tiny pinhole
a shining light of pure energy
and it is love
it is now your part to take this love
and distribute it by planting her seed
so that she may live again

Kristy's indomitable spirit was both admirable and infectious. I feel blessed and fortunate to have met her and train with her. My favorite memories of Kristy were riding abreast on the long Sunday trainingrides, boy she could REALLY put the hurt on!!!…

It was very special to have her pat me on the back while I was suffering on the rollers in the cycling gym. She had an extraordinary ability to push the limits on the bike without showing it!!! I have mixed feelings about the fact that I was the last one to be with her before being taken away by the ambulance, but I want everyone to know that even with her broken body, she never stopped fighting. Kristy was a special human being and will remain in my thoughts and prayers for the rest of my days on this earth.

-Daniel Brasse, Third Pillar