A REMEMBRANCE

Kristy, Bancroft Elementary School

I would like to post this message from a former elementary school classmate of Kristy's. It reminds me there were so many others who loved and admired her - from grade school on up.

My God what a tragedy. I just found out last night. I grew up with Kristy in San Leandro and went to Roosevelt and Bancroft with her.

Dear Kristy,

It has been well well over a decade since I last saw you Kristy but I feel that the world has lost someone great. Reading that you have achieved such things in your life comes as no surprise what so ever. Actually totally expected to hear that you are a champion athlete. You were always the fastest girl in the playground and was faster than just about every one of us boy's too.

Being a athlete was your destiny. The world feels like a smaller place just knowing you are no longer with us. Kristy, you loom large in my memories of my childhood. You did touch many lives more than you probably ever realised. I will always remember you Kristy. Will always remember you. -


Chris Baldwin,
London,UK (grew up in San Leandro)

THE OUTSTRETCHED HAND

The fear of death follows from the fear of life.

A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.

- Mark Twain -

"As a female firefighter/paramedic and as a cyclist turned triathlete, I can relate to Kristy's strength and passion. My worst fears, as a cyclist and as a paramedic, happened to your daughter.

Every time I ride that winding road, I'll remember. But her spirit must live on, and she can be a motivation to other strong females out there who have a passion for athletics.

I did not know her or Matt Peterson, but I raced for Roaring Mouse Cycles as it's only female roady during it's first season, and I am friends with the owners of the bike shop. Be strong. Be safe. And I don't ever want to see you in my ambulance, unless you're visiting me at the fire station." - Dori

People who knew Kristy were aware that she was the only woman on an all male bicycling team. She was arguably one of their strongest riders. Kristy reveled in being treated like one of the guys. Small, petite and a beauty of a woman - she never called attention to herself except when she was quietly passing everyone on the course. Her spirit was infectious - she raced by putting everything she had on the line. She made no apologies for her abilities but at the same time she made no excuses for her "short comings".

In my experience as her friend and mother, Kristy's biggest weakness was her reticence to let people help her. Even if she was really hurting she would not ask for, let alone accept, any help. Eventually, I am certain she would have learned some of the most transforming experiences in life happen when you let someone help you. In doing so you have allowed another the ability to give of themselves. When you take from an outstretched hand you have to open your own. The one who accepts the gift gains in the transaction, sometimes even more than the giver.

Kristy and I had so much to learn from each other. As I write these words and read what others have said about Kristy I am continually humbled; the more I learn about this strong, independent woman, the more I learn about myself.

Today's workout: 5 miles on the treadmill. Running is harder to do on a treadmill. I look forward to getting back to the lake when the rain has passed through.

JUST A GIRL

Only weeks before Kristy's death she confided in me how life changing it was to have a coach that believed in her abilities. Someone who didn't hold her back because of preconceived notions of what she was capable of achieving. She didn't want to compete as a woman athlete. She wanted to compete as the best athlete she could be. She hated it when she was pigeon holed as a woman athlete. I know she radiated a feeling of possibilities when around others. It was just part of who she was and what she expected from others.

When Kristy was in Junior High she would go to the basketball courts to shoot baskets after school was out. Her first sport was basketball and she was soooo good. She would come home nearly every night with a story of how some group of boys would come onto the court and end up challenging her to a game. She would then proceed to totally shatter their dreams of grandeur. They got beaten by a girl. She was upset that she had to go through this day after day, but I could tell she was inwardly pleased to know she could beat them. There was never any question in her mind. Ever.

I would like to share something Kristy's friend wrote shortly after her death. This man's comments underscore the fact Kristy never bragged about her amazing abilities or accomplishments. In fact she was exactly the opposite. She was always thinking of the other person and how they might feel.

I remember the first time I met Kristy was at Shadow Cliffs for an open water swim. I had fins on so I could take it easy, or so I thought. Even with my fins, I felt like I was stopped in the water while Kristy would fly by me like a missile and then zoom back by me the other way so we wouldn't get too far apart.After the swim, I learned that she did triathlons and was going to ride her Cervelo for a brick. I mentioned that I also do triathlons and we decided to go for a run after our next swim. I'm a much stronger runner than a swimmer so I figured I'd be able to hold my own when we did the run. WRONG! Once again, I felt like I was standing still.

Of course, cycling is my best event so the next time we swam the open waters of Shadow Cliffs we decided to ride our bikes afterwards. Although I was getting a pretty good idea that I was outclassed I just knew I'd be able to hang with her now. You guessed it...wrong again.

Although we had shared quite a bit of conversation throughout our few training sessions together, it took Google for me to learn that she was a professional triathlete and had just recently won the Auburn International Triathlon! She was a wonderfully friendly person with an incredible sense of humor and I couldn't help but give her a bad time that she was making a joke out of me, a middle of the pack age grouper. :-) She will be sorely missed. The only solace I can find is that she died doing what she loved doing and most people will live twice as long or longer and never achieve half as much as she did. I can't say rest in peace because I'm sure that rather than resting she's probably tearing it up up there like she did down here. Bless you Kristy.

George Brumm (Fremont, CA)

Today's workout: 6 miles at the gym. Finally - under 11 minute miles even though I went to bed last night with a bad sore throat and felt I was still sick. I thought of Kristy today when I was running. I know she would never let this kind of thing slow her down.

OUCH

The following entry was written yesterday by a man who never met Kristy but knew of her from fellow riders. The photo above had a caption written by Kristy which said, "Ouch". She would never show it when she was hurting as the following confirms.

A friend of mine used to tell me last year of a female on his team that had this amazing ability to suffer without showing. He would tell me " I never know when she is hurting but yet I know she is". He told me as he grew to know her she was a very complex and amazing spirit!

He told me he would introduce me to her at a race or training ride someday. That someday never happened but Kristy I still feel as if I have met you. I think your presence here on earth will be remembered and admired for years to come. God bless your Family.

Today's workout: Feeling sick and stayed inside all day instead of cross training at the gym. Hope this isn't becoming a pattern.

WORLD CHAMPION WATCH

One of my favorite presents from Kristy was the Ironman watch she won in Hawaii. She gave it to me with this sweet little note and of course - some of the coveted ginger candy! To me the note is much more precious than the watch but I can't wear it, so the watch will have to do.

I am thinking about you today. My birthday just isn't the same without you. You were the greatest gift ever. Thank you for being you.

Today's workout: 60 minutes cross training on bike. I need to get some ice bags for my knees.

RIDE FREE, MY FRIEND

Kristy (middle rider in red jersey) waits patiently for the Cherry Pie race to begin. She went on to win the race along with all the sprints. She walked away with every prize (including the Cherry Pie)! She was never able to redeem some of her prizes - time was just too short.

Every race season, the women’s race scene sees one rider fly through the ranks within an impossibly short time span: they uncomfortably increase the pace in the beginner/intermediate Cat 4 races, handle the expert Cat3 expert races with ease and settle in gracefully to the pro/semi-pro Cat1/2 competitions.

As a woman Cat4 racer who’s been a bit stuck in the beginner/intermediate category longer than I’d care to admit, I have become well adept at identifying that one woman bound to effortlessly succeed as she pulls up to the line for the first race of the year. Three years ago it was Lisa Penzel, two years ago it was Shelly Olds. This year, it was Kristy Gough. When she showed up at the Early Birds, I took one look at her and thought to myself, “yep, that’s her”… and since I was merely observing the race from the sidelines that day, I thought to my racing teammates, “good luck, girls.”

I didn’t know Kristy personally, but knew that she was the focus of my team’s competitive “fear” and inspiration. Hence, we intensely discussed on our team forums whether Kristy would be racing with us during our first “real” road race of the season, Snelling, and debated how to collectively (I’m talking 10 women here) compete against her in the race. Imagine the small sigh of relief when we found out she had upgraded to the next category up.

It’s only with Kristy’s passing that I have learned more about who she was, outside of that symbolic woman at the start of every race season she represented to me. Knowing she was my peer, if only for a moment, has made this tragedy all the more difficult to bear, but just as much, it has made it all the more important to carry on in her name. My heart goes out to Kristy’s family, friends and gracious Third Pillar teammates. You - and Kristy - are in my thoughts. Ride free, my friend.

Meredith Obendorfer
women's road team manager,
Roaring Mouse Cycles

SELF EXPRESSION

Kristy on her bike in our living room

Dear Kristy’s Family,

One morning four or five months ago at The Five Rings gym I was alone with Kristy. Vladimir gave us a long weight circuit set and went back to his desk, and as we rotated between the stations we talked. It was the only time I ever talked to her alone at length, and the sincerity of the things she said made them especially poignant. I am 55 and confessed to her my dwindling motivation to exercise because the best I could do at my age was slow the decline.

She paused and replied that for her training and racing were the way she expressed herself. She rephrased it three times, as though the idea was taking better shape each time she said it. Without saying more she made me realize why I was focusing on the wrong thing. I think she meant to tell me that the effort and the process are themselves the reward. The power of her will to succeed was itself the expression of inner spirit and the truest victory.

I will never forget this lesson from Kristy. Kristy was the essence of life and youth and beauty. All of the lives she touched are richer for it.

Sheldon Finch

"I'M NOT A SPRINTER"

Two things I remember were from the same ride around Brisbane a few weeks back.

1. Sam was working for me and Kristy was another "team" for that exercise. Sam laid it down up the hill and I was struggling to stay on his wheel, when I noticed Kristy with only a slight purse to her lips and doing most of her breathing through her nose. She turned up the pace and it was only her and I left. I jumped out of the saddle and just managed to pip her at the line. She had seen me jump and was sitting on my wheel, in the saddle just matching my pace, while I was out of saddle trying to get every ounce of power I could. She rode by my just after the finish line and said "that was good, I'm not a sprinter or anything". Well I am a sprinter and I was near my max output. Kristy wasn't sprinting, she was just riding on my wheel calm as you like.

2. On that same ride we were stopping after each lap to discuss strategy and so on. After one lap Kristy rolled up and said, "Are we going to keep going or do we need to stop and chat ." Hilarious... The whole rest of ride we joked about needing to express our feelings. She was awesome, funny and talented. The complete package...

Anthony Borba, Third Pillar
__________________________________________

FIRST IMPRESSIONS

This letter was written by a competing bicyclist who met Kristy for the first time in 2008 during a race.

I'll never forget the first time I saw Kristy this season; it was at Cantua Creek, my first race of the year. Quiet, reserved, focused, she sat calmly on her bike while we all chatted and joked around, as the field for Cat 4 women was pretty small that day. Some of the women were asking each other who she was, where she came from, and someone knew & mentioned she was a professional triathlete. We had fun that first windy lap, and Kristy hung in there with us long enough to rotate through the pace line up to the turn around.

After that, she must have finally been bored with the pace AND the talking, because as we approached the first of two turn arounds, in one dramatic turn of the wheels, she was GONE. And I mean, "see you later, I'm outta here, gone." My team mate yelled out jokingly, "hey, where does she think she's going?" And we all laughed, knowing that we'd just been witness to something pretty spectacular. Later, she competed against us at Cherry Pie, and I saw her again at Snelling.

The last time I saw Kristy was bright and early Saturday, the morning of Menlo Park Grand Prix. I did the medical team support for the day and was unloading my medical supplies. She rolled by on her bike and looked straight at me; I said hi, she said hi and had that look on her face like, "how do I know you?" And that was it.

She probably didn't remember it was me, to her immediate left on the pace line that morning at Cantua Creek, singing the first few versus of the Italian song, Ave Maria. But I do. I'll never forget that, or forget her.

My heart aches for her mother and father, as I have an adult son that I cherish with all of my being. I offer you and your family my deepest compassion for your loss and grief.

Katherine Hamilton, RN MFTCode Three Racing

IMAGINE

The lake was beautiful this morning. It was cold and misty with no one around. The early morning is always the best time to run.

As I was running I thought about all the help and support I have received. A dear friend of mine sent me this note a few months ago:

"I got your card today, Karen, and of course I was touched once again with the sadness that comes from contemplating Kristy's death and how deeply this has hurt you. But I am optimistic, too, that even as it becomes a part of you, this hurt is still only a part of you, not the whole, and that your nature will not let it stop you from being fully of this world and in this world, for yourself and as an example for everyone who also has to endure the loss of Kristy." It is friends like this, my family, and others, who have made the difference.

I am hopeful the stories of Kristy's life will achieve this for each person who takes the time to read them. Kristy is gone but she will never be forgotten. She is now a part of all of us. Her poems bear her soul and show us a deeply spiritual being. Stories of what she did and who she was can make us all better human beings. Thank you.

Today's workout: This was the longest run of the training to date. I am happy to say I ran the full 12 miles in one fell swoop. The last mile was the hardest, but as I passed by "that" hill (where Kristy pushed me up on the bicycle) I yelled out "Bring it on!" But that's another story.....

ONE WOMAN

The following was written by Kristy's team mate:

Kristy Gough was a sight to behold on a bicycle. Her upper body was as still as an untouched glass of water. While below, her tanned muscular legs were just tapping out a beautiful tempo cadence. This is the vision her friends, family, and team will always remember and cherish. She was one of the kindest, and strongest women to have ever graced the Peloton. In the very large and diverse world of Cycling her indomitable spirit was both admirable and infectious. At the Five Ring Cycling Center where Kristy could be found completing a strenuous workout, she showed a compassion that would inspire others around her. She'd often be seen riding the rollers, patting a struggling rider on the back, and motivating them to complete their tasks.

Kristy would win the primes, as well as the race. Yet, it was never followed with boasting or bragging, but rather modesty, heart, and compassion. Kristy even said at one point that she felt bad for winning so often, but truly, she never had anything to feel bad about. She worked for everything she wanted, and she did it with charisma, class, and charm. She showed more heart then any member of her team. As one fellow team mate so perfectly put it, "You couldn't help but be a fan". She was one woman among a group full of men, and yet they all looked up to her.

Kristy was always treated as one of the guys, when a boyish joke was thrown her way, she managed to spin it back and throw every one of them off balance. Of course she did it with a smile that let you know she had you cornered but in a playful, kind and caring way. With the Olympic Trials just around the corner it was the hopes of many that she'd make it.

The loss of Kristy Gough is a heartfelt one, a true tragedy that is almost too unreal to believe. Her life touched all of those that were ever graced with her presence. She rides on in the hearts of those who loved and cared for her, and she'll never be forgotten.

-written by "one of the guys"

The Olympic Committee thought Kristy would have made it as well. Soon after her death they awarded her family the Olympic Flag in her honor as a testimony to her talent and dedication. It now hangs in the gym where she was "just one of the guys".

Today's workout: Even though the day is not yet over I can tell I do not have it in me to leave the house.

OF LOVE AND TRUTH

Kristy puts a new roof on the house

It is with the greatest sadness, shock, and sheer disbelief that I write this. Kristy, where ever you are right now, I want you to know how much I love you, respect you, and how I hold you in the highest regard and esteem. This is such an injustice and a tragedy like none I've ever experienced. You touched my life in such a deep, profound way, and I am honored to have had you in my life. You made me a better human being.

Kristy was truly a radical feminist in her own right though she would never chose those words or identify as such. She would school anyone who showed ego or disrespect, but always in a subtle, non-presuming or unpretentious way. She was fiercely independent and resourceful. (I'll never forget calling her one day to find out that she was taking a break from re-roofing her house and was simultaneously reading a how-to book on roofing and "Robinson Crusoe".)

She had such courage of conviction and such strength in body, mind, and spirit. While many may have seen an INITIALLY stoic and hard exterior, Kristy was so loving, deeply caring, and insightful. Besides being an incredible athlete, she was also extremely bright, insightful, and beautiful - inside and out. In addition to having an acerbic wit, she was always very truthful, very real, and forthright. She called things like she saw them; I always took her advice to heart and sought her opinion in times of happiness and drama. She had wisdom far beyond her years. But in all this, she had the ability to laugh at herself, reminding me also not to take myself too seriously. I admired her humility and her talent, and sought her out when I needed "the truth."

She leaves a deep void that will never be filled.I send my greatest condolences to Kristy's family and those touched by her in ways big and small. I wish my words could do more justice to the incredible person she was but I am afraid they are failing me now.

Kristianna, you will be so missed! - Gabrielle

A LIFE DIFFERENT

I would like to share a letter I received from a man who spent less than a week with my daughter. As a professional athlete Kristy was sometimes able to stay with other athletes when traveling to a remote location to compete. This process had it's ups and downs. It provided a wonderful opportunity for someone just getting started, who might not have the ability to finance such a trip. It gave her a warm place to stay, food and a place to sleep. But as Kristy would later tell me it also meant constant interaction answering all sorts of sports related questions. Sometimes it could be exhausting. Kristy was a caring and sensitive person and never let this show. Indeed she was always so thankful for anyone's help. She talked very fondly of these 6 days.

I received this letter 3 months after Kristy died:

Dear Karen,

You don't know who I am. I live in Coeur d'Arlene, Idaho. Yesterday was IronMan Coeur d'Alene. Last week, I just happened to Google Kristy's name into the search box. I was curious as to what she had been up to in the triathlon world. I was stunned to see that she had been killed in a crash with a vehicle. I was overwhelmed with sadness and I still am.

Two years ago, Kristy just happened into our lives here in Coeur d'Arlene. You see, that was the year that we hosted a professional triathlete here in our home and that athlete was Kristy. She was only in our lives for six days, but she was such a pleasure to be around and to have around. I felt a bond with Kristy. She was so much like I was when I was 30 years old. To quote Dustin Hoffman in the movie, THE GRADUATE, "I just wanted my life to be different." I think Kristy was a lot like that too. I admired her personality, her determination and her outlook on life. She had so many admirable qualities about her that I really related to. I simply felt a connection to her.

I can't imagine the pain that you must feel over the loss of her. I am so sorry for your loss. I hope in some small way that this letter makes you feel just a little bit better and in some way can brighten your day. God bless you.

And it did brighten my day. I am so proud of my little girl. My friend and my teacher.

Today's workout: I thought about you as I do every time I run at the lake where we used to go. It was a beautiful day and there were so many people out running. I have never seen so many people running the lake - and then I remembered it was New Year's Day. Another mile stone without you. I completed my 6 miles with aching legs and an aching heart. But then I remembered this letter.

TU HERMANA

From Kristy's sister

Here I sit late at night reading all the soulful, heartfelt words written by everyone about my one and only sister, Kristy, aka Kris Kros Apple Sauce. I have been so speechless about this and still am having trouble accepting that it is real. How can it be that the closest person to me in my life is gone? I will never again sleep by her side, glory in the inexpressible bond of sisterhood, strength, wisdom and commitment to growth that united us. Of course, we will go on and continue striving to express the balance of vulnerability and power that allows us to achieve our dreams with a sense of ease and gratitude.

I know that Kristy is touched by all the love and admiration pouring out from the community. I know that all your expressions are making it easier for me in this way: I am so grateful that so many recognize her as the beautiful, inspiring, brilliant, endearing, funny and caring woman she was. Not only was she my "other half" for the past 30 years, but I took for granted that I would have the rest of my life with her. I will be grateful for all the love you all have shown to her and our family for all the years to come that I will be longing for the greatest love I have ever known. I don't know how I'm gonna do it, but I wouldn't dream of letting her down. I know I have to continue the journey of learning to remove all the ways I obscure my own beautiful light from shining forth. Easier said than done!

I am so blessed to have Kristy's example to guide my way. Kristy, I am so so sorry and so proud of who you are and what you've done. I will forever honor you, love you, dream with you, and thank you for all you brought, and still bring to my life.

Until we meet again, my love, tu hermana Laurissa